Excuses, Excuses
by Red Witch
Summary: The adults of both the XMen and the Misfits compare lame excuses the kids have given them. They'd better come up with some good ones themselves soon...


**I know there's no excuse that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. I've been reading around the websites again and I found this one on weird excuses. And then the little wheels in my mind began to turn and I came up with this.**

**Excuses, Excuses**

"I swear one of these days I will quit this job and move to Peru to tend llamas!" Hank shouted as he barged in the teacher's lounge of the Xavier Institute. Scott, Jean, Logan, Ororo and Warren were in there and looked at him.

"Hank you don't mean that," Ororo shook her head and made a slight grin.

"You're right," Hank told her as he sat down. "First I'll try a career as a shark hunter. It can't be any more painful than listening to one of Bobby Drake's excuses."

"What lame excuse did he come up with this time?" Logan asked.

"He said, and I quote: I was too busy saving the world to write my book report," Hank rolled his eyes. "Normally I would give an extension but considering I handed out the assignment two months ago…"

"Yeah even we have enough downtime for that," Jean said. "I mean between all our battles and the craziness the Misfits cook up we had what…?"

"Two, three days tops," Scott groaned.

"Scott it was on Lord of the Rings," Hank told him. "Now I know for a fact that young Robert has not only read all the books in the trilogy twice, he has seen the movies **27 times!** Not to mention he plays that video game every chance he gets! He couldn't make up a two-page report about something he always watches?"

"I just love the excuses these kids cook up," Logan grunted. "They're just as entertaining as what's on TV, and a lot more inventive."

"You know what my personal favorite is?" Warren smirked. "Lockheed set fire to my paper."

"Considering he's torched a few of my lesson plans I have to admit that's a pretty believable excuse," Hank remarked.

"Almost as believable as Tabitha blew up my homework or Amara set fire to it," Jean said.

"Or that Forge zapped it with one of his inventions," Scott added.

"COME BACK HERE YOU STUPID TOASTER!" Forge could be heard screaming. They looked out the open door and saw him running after a very fast moving appliance. "SPIT OUT THAT INSTRUCTION MANUAL RIGHT NOW! NOW! NO! NO! GIVE IT BACK! YOU CAN BE REPLACED WITH A WAFFLE IRON YOU KNOW?"

"I have to admit, I give the kids the benefit of the doubt on **that **one," Logan groaned.

"Does anybody…?" Ororo began.

"No," Everyone in the room said.

"Shouldn't we…?" Ororo tried again.

"No!" They all replied.

"I just don't want to know anymore," Logan sighed. "The last time he made the refrigerator explode he claimed he was working on a way to solve the world's energy crisis. The only thing that solved was whether or not to eat the meatloaf that was in there for the past two weeks."

"Considering the fact that it was the only thing that survived the explosion, it was a sensible decision," Hank remarked. "You can always tell when Kitty cooked something."

"That's another excuse I'll buy," Logan pointed out. "That and the Misfits showed up so I couldn't get any work done."

"Hey-o!" Shipwreck called as he walked in with Roadblock, Cover Girl, Spirit, Low Light and the Blind Master.

"Yeah I'd buy that defense too," Scott groaned.

"Did you guys know that your toaster set some of your curtains on fire?" Shipwreck asked as he took a donut from the table.

"I suppose that was inevitable," Hank sighed. "What are all of you doing here, besides mooching off us again?"

"We were all diagnosed with post stress disorder and needed a change of scenery," Low Light quipped as he sat down.

"That's almost as good as some of the kids' excuses," Warren remarked.

"We were all talking about some of the excuses the kids make for getting out of their homework," Jean said.

"Oh I love those," Shipwreck said. "Our kids try to pull that too. They say Cobra stole it or ninjas set fire to it. Or that Mastermind wiped their memories and they couldn't remember anything for the test. What a bunch of hooey. Kids will say anything to get out of work."

Everyone looked at Shipwreck. "What?" Shipwreck asked. "Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"Let's just say the kids aren't the only ones with a case of lazy bones around here," Roadblock said. "You've used a few to go out and sneak a beer."

"Come on," Shipwreck waved. "I mean you can't compare me with them. They say the lamest things. Like my grandmother's hamster died. Or they tripped over their shoes and were knocked unconscious and that's why they didn't show up for class. Or that a skunk was hiding in their room and they're afraid to clean it and if they do they'll get sprayed."

"And **your **excuses are so believable?" Low Light glared at him. "Polly stole my checkbook. It was early in the morning and I mistook the vodka for milk. Someone slipped drugs into my drink and stole the keys to my car. **Polly** slipped me drugs into my drink and stole the keys to my car. I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity. I could have sworn I took those bullets out of my gun. Any of **that** ring a bell pal?"

"Not half as creative as when he said, 'But I could have sworn the memo said Dress Up as a Chicken Day'", Roadblock added. "Or 'I couldn't read your handwriting. It looked like it said buy twenty scratch tickets.'"

"I've got one," Spirit said. "Remember this classic? 'I have to ship my grandfather's remains to China for an ancient family ritual.' Keep in mind his grandfather had been dead for a good twenty years when he said that."

"It's a long ritual," Shipwreck said with a straight face. "And I did go to China."

"Yeah, China, Maine where you spent the entire time fishing and getting plastered," The Blind Master said.

"And when we did catch up to him, he said that he was nearly mauled to death by a pack of grizzlies which ate his cell phone," Roadblock added. "Which was later discovered in the stomach of a cocker spaniel."

"How about when he said that he was training the babies to change their own diapers?" Cover Girl asked. "Or when he blamed them for stealing his shoes and socks so he couldn't leave the house."

"Well I can't just walk into a store barefoot now can I?" Shipwreck snapped. "It's against the health code."

"You had a lot less on that night we tracked you down to that bar in Tokyo," Roadblock said. "And what you did to that beer keg was definitely not sanitary!"

"It's a foreign country, they have different customs and different beer games," Shipwreck told him.

"You see?" Cover Girl threw up her hands. "No wonder the kids think they can get away with anything! Look at the example you set with all your crazy excuses!"

"Really?" Shipwreck took offense. "Like I'm the only one that stretches the truth around here? Does **this** sound familiar? 'Beach Head I can't help you with that paperwork. The kids all have violent diarrhea and I have to take care of them and clean up the mess.'"

"That was **you**, you idiot!" Low Light snapped.

"Really? Are you sure?" Shipwreck looked confused. "I could have sworn one of you guys used the diarrhea excuse?"

"No," Low Light shook his head. "The Blind Master said that you accidentally gave the kids alcohol and they were throwing up. The diarrhea excuse was **your **brainchild."

"Oh yeah…" Shipwreck thought. "You're right."

"You're being too modest Low Light," The Blind Master said. "The excuse you made when you totaled one of the tanks, that you hit a herd of genetically altered cows with very tough hides. That was sheer brilliance."

"What about the one Spirit made when he said the subway broke down and it was held up by robbers?" Low Light asked. "And then the robbers got mugged by other robbers."

"It was in New York City," Spirit glared at him. "I dare you to prove me wrong."

"No I gotta give the prize to Shipwreck for telling the biggest lies," Roadblock shook his head.

"Like the one time you tried to get a three day pass by claiming that you eloped with the Invisible Woman and couldn't find her," Cover Girl said. "Or you forgot to come back to work after lunch."

"The time you claimed you hurt yourself bowling," Spirit added. "The time you said you were spit upon by a venomous snake."

"Polly unplugged your alarm clock and you missed reveille," Roadblock added. "And my personal favorite, that your brain fell asleep and you couldn't wake it up."

"A lame excuse considering that your mind is never exactly active to begin with," Logan chuckled.

"Har, har, hardy har har…" Shipwreck folded his arms.

"I can't believe how many creative excuses you people have come up with," Warren blinked.

"I can," Scott said. "These are the Misfits, remember?"

"Oh and I suppose **you** never stretched the truth?" Shipwreck raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just saying that lying is not a strong suit of the X-Men," Scott pointed out.

That's when Kitty walked in carrying a batch of brownies. "Hey everyone! I just baked some brownies! Wanna try?"

"Uh…" Jean went pale. "Can't…I'm on a diet."

"Me too! Weight Watchers!" Hank said quickly. "Too many points."

"What about you, Scott?" Kitty offered some.

"Uh…" Scott gulped. "I'd like to but…I just brushed my teeth and used mouthwash and the directions say I should eat or drink anything for at least an hour."

"For someone who doesn't lie that often that's a pretty good one," Shipwreck remarked.

"Shut up!" Scott glared at him. "Maybe **you'd** like to eat some?"

"Can't gotta go back and check on the babies!" Shipwreck grinned as he pushed the buttons on his teleportation watch. The other Misfit adults did the same and they disappeared.

"Well that's one way to get rid of 'em," Logan grumbled.

"Come on, I really want your honest opinion," Kitty said.

"No you don't," Logan looked out the window. "Oh no! Magneto's outside our gates! X-Men! Move out! Kitty go tell the others to lock themselves inside the Danger Room!" He shot up and started to run out the door with the other X-Men.

"They're already in there! For some reason when I finished making the brownies they said they all had an emergency session," Kitty called after them. She looked out the window. "Wait a minute! Magneto's not out there! Guys! Come back!"


End file.
